Friday, July 28, 2006

Judith G Fernandez "Gina"

May 9, 1961- July 24, 2006
46 short years on this earth. She leaves behind 3 boys- Adrian (15), Juan Jr. (13), Anthony (almost 4) , and countless family members who will miss her so dearly.
I went to the wake last night and saw family that I haven't seen in several years. I was saddened to see that at a time when we should have all been thinking of Gina that some people could do nothing but make a spectacle of themselves. Why is that funerals bring out the best in some people and the worst in others? I would like to think that it's just people's way of dealing with grief. Her husband is without a doubt an entirely new breed of asshole. I never liked him but when I heard what has been happening the last week was dumbfounded. The last week was horrible, her mother and sisters took care of her, bathed her, tried to make her as comfortable as possible. It was not pretty toward the end, I don't know that I would have been strong enough to do what they did, I'd like to think that I would be able to but one never knows until one is truly tested what one can endure. Anyway, her husband J Sr. never once visited her in the hospital, he accused Linda, her sister, of exaggerating how sick she really was. I found out after the fact that they were separated. Gina wasn't even gone an hour before he was kicking her mother and sisters out of the house. He immediately started giving her possessions to his family members. He was very cruel to Gina, he burned her arms and has tried to turn the boys against her family. Well I am proud of Gina for finally standing up and doing the right thing for her boys, even during this hard time, knowing that she wasn't going to live long. She gave power of attorney to everything, her home, her boys, everything to her sister. Her husband is most mad about this, but seeing his behavior at the wake is proof enough that he shouldn't have those boys. The first day of the wake he was screaming at his MIL to get the f*** out of the funeral home, the it was his funeral home. He didn't even plan any of the funeral, her mother and sister did it all because he disappeared. He and his mother made a huge scene. This was insane in my opinion, people are there to mourn her passing not see a freak show. I am so sad for Gina's boys, I hope that things will settle down and work out . Gina's sister Lisa made a lovely flyer for the people that came to the wake, it has a picture of Gina on it (which I'll scan in as soon as my scanner is hooked up again) and a poem which I will share here.

Come With Me
The Lord saw you were tired and a cure was not to be.
So He put his arms around you and whispered "Come With Me".
With tearful eyes we saw you suffer, and saw you fade away.
Although we Love You Dearly, we could not make you stay!!
A golden heart stopped beating, a beautiful smile at rest.
God broke out hearts to prove He only takes the best!
It's lonesome here without you, we miss you so each day.
Our lives aren't the same, since you went away.
When days are Sad and Lonely and everything goes wrong
We seem to hear you whisper "Cheer up and Carry on"
Each time we see some pictures, you seem to smile and say
"Don't Cry, I'm in God's Keeping, We shall meet again one day."
unknown author

3 comments:

Awesome Abby said...

There are things I will NEVER understand, and people making spectacles of themselves, especially in a situation like this is one of them. I'm so sorry that you (and mostly her boys, mom, and sister) had to go through all that. I'm proud of her for putting her foot down one last time, no matter how hard it must have been, to make sure that her boys would be taken care of the right way. Prayers for all involved will continue.
xoxoxoxo

skrpndiva said...

You know, I keep thinking nothing will surprise me anymore and then I read something like this. I'm shocked and appalled at her husband's behaviour. Maybe it's his way of dealing with things, but even so, it's no excuse.

Kenny said...

So sorry to hear about your cousin! What a beautiful and comforting poem...
Kenny